Please gather around.
I know I'm not wrong here when I say that a large portion of our fellow man dwells upon many past thoughts and actions that they consider "𝙁𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙪𝙧𝙚𝙨."
- Am I a parental failure?
- The last few businesses that I started didn't pan out.
- I'm stuck at my job because I failed to (insert reason.)
- I can't keep promises to myself and others.
There are more, but you get the point.
I've walked in some of these shoes and coached hundreds of others who've been in those situations.
A tip: If you love yourself, then forgive yourself because forgiveness is an ultimate act of unconditional love, and you deserve it. You're not a failure, you've survived a lot to get here, and there's a reason and purpose for your existence.
If you're aware that you have made mistakes in the past, now it's time to make restitution and amend those mistakes so you can move on.
When I did that at age 35, my entire world changed, literally and figuratively.
So here's the scoop;
𝗙𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲
Just like how the tree that fell in the woods didn't exist until it was spoken/thought about, your "failures" didn't / don't exist until you accept them as so...
Picture an avalanche and all its massive force.
It started as a microscopic crystal droplet of water, thousands of feet in the sky,
Then it formed with other crystallized droplets to form snowflakes.
Those snowflakes fell to the earth and combined with more snowflakes to become snowpack.
Once a trigger occurs, tons and tons of snowpack comes down the hill and destroys everything in its path.
Then the snow melts away when the weather warms up.
Question: What good did that avalanche do?
What I'm proposing is - Don't breathe life into what you consider "failure" because those feelings may eventually become destructive.
Instead, switch up the mindset...
As soon as you notice a mistake, blunder or falter, rather than considering it a "failure,"...
Look at it as a seed.
This seed can grow into a life-giving, shade-providing tree, or it could develop into a life-sucking, harmful & ugly weed!
You choose how that seed manifests:
You either give it life, or you choose not to plant it.
If you choose not to plant that seed, here are a few tips on what to do next time you're feeling like a failure:
Observe it: this is probably the hardest thing for most of us to do. Observing simply means not giving it emotion. That doesn't mean you don't "feel" the impact; you merely accept the situation for what it is, especially because it's already in the past, which can't be changed.
Extract a lesson: There will be opposition in all things throughout your life. If you know what to do when that opposition shows up then you can mitigate the impact your "failures" have on you. The very best way to do that is to learn from the mistakes and apply that knowledge. Asking yourself, "what lesson am I supposed to learn here?" may not always apply, but asking "what could have been done differently in order to lessen the risk or prevent that failure altogether?" When equipped with experience, your mind and body will act accordingly in future relative scenarios, and you'll thank yourself for succeeding that next time.
Encourage yourself: "it is what it is and I'm better than that" can go a very long way! Accept that you're in control of your actions and attitude and that you can progress into the most elite version of yourself. Know and remember that your mind, body and spirit are the most complex vessels in the universe and have peak performance abilities, so uplift and edify yourself rather than belittle and beat yourself down.
Share your newfound wisdom: trust me, almost every human being on the planet has gone through the same struggles and trials, but most will never learn how to overcome them. When your ego is pushed aside, and vulnerability prevails, other humans see and relate and are sometimes willing to learn about what it takes to overcome and succeed. This is when you become influential in helping to clean up the "stinking thinking" cycle that so many are stuck in. Remember, someone is ALWAYS watching, so, share what's happening in your life and what you're doing to overcome things that have held you back in the past. There are no shortage of challenges we face when pushing for greatness!